Greetings from Boston!

Hey gay porn lovers and culture vultures, it’s Darren, a.k.a First_Darren (it’s a Bewitched reference; everyone always asks me if I was named after Darren on Bewitched, and which Darren I would rather be). Evan and Paulie have been gracious enough to allow me to do one of my favorite things on their blog: talk about smut. Paulie thought I should write a bio to introduce myself to the readers, so here we go.

I’m a forty something (trust me, kids, it creeps up on you REAL FAST) GWM Bostonian, born and bred in Massachusetts. Pencil-pushing desk jockey by day, cinematic sleaze lover by night. I’ve been fascinated with porn since the tender age of eleven when I found a copy of Hustler Magazine hidden under my father’s bed. It featured a pictorial called “Nutcracker Sweet” where a naked dude dressed like a wooden solider had simulated sex with a coked- out starlet dressed up like a porcelain doll. Needless to say, my eyes were completely glued to the soldier’s erect flesh rifle and not so much on the doll’s splayed vagene, which to my young eyes resembled a skinless chicken cutlet.

It wasn’t until my late teens that I worked up the courage to rent my first gay-porn (yes kids, we really DID used to have things like video stores back in the day). It was called Sticky Business, and I’ll give you three guesses as to what movie it was spoofing. I’ll never forget one line from the video: “I’ll give you ten thousand dollars for that virgin ass. Take it or leave it.” I thought: THAT’S what I have to do when I start having sex?! The movie left a queasy feeling in my stomach (maybe my own internalized homophobia at the time?), but it didn’t stop me from renting more. Catalina and Falcon were at their apex in the late 80’s, early 90’s, and their titles (especially Catalina’s) were personal favorites (Head of the Class and Top Man immediately come to mind). My favorite “back in the day” porn star is the dreamy Rex Chandler (star of my all-time favorite gay-porn video Heat in the Night). Come back to the five and dime, Rex Chandler, Rex Chandler! I also love Zak Spears (pre PA), who DARED to have chest hair at a time when every other performer was waxed, shaved and plucked within an inch of their lives. Another personal favorite is Jason Brach (oh, Daddy!), especially the B&D videos he’s done for Grapik Arts. They might be low on production values, but they’re high on sexual heat and chemistry.

I’ve always had a taste for the dark, bizarre, unusual, and socially unacceptable. Plan 9 from Outer Space is one of my favorite movies, and I think Vampira is the most beautiful woman alive (well, actually, she’s dead now but you know what I mean), so that should give you an idea of where I’m coming from. So it was only a matter of time before I started reviewing porn, I think. I’d like to thank Evan and Paulie for giving me this opportunity. I’ve just posted my first review on the blog for the Stag Homme Studios production Stag Reel, featuring (in my dreams, anyway) my future husband Bruno Fernandez Gutierrez. Hope you enjoy the review (and the ones to come in the near future), and please feel free to leave me any comments, suggestions, phone numbers of single tops in the Boston area, etc., that you’d like. Stay hard!