DC Teens Have Big Cocks

D.C. High School, College students have complained that the free condoms the city has been offering are not good enough quality and are too small for their meaty manhoods. They have also asked for greater access to the condoms because asking from them from a school nurse is "just like asking a grandma or auntie".

So D.C. officials have decided to stock up on Trojan condoms, including the company's super-size Magnum variety, and they have begun to authorize teachers or counselors, preferably male, to distribute condoms to students if the teachers complete a 30-minute online training course called "WrapMC" -- for Master of Condoms.

But because Trojans are considered the better-known brand, city officials say, they are willing to spend an extra few thousand dollars a year to try to persuade sexually active teenagers to practice safer sex. The Durex condoms will still be offered.

Scientists and D.C. health officials said the appeal of Trojan condoms can be attributed to the company's marketing strategy, including the packaging of Magnums in a shiny, gold wrapper.

"The gold package certainly has a little bit of the bling quality," said Michael Kharfen, a spokesman for the city's HIV/AIDS administration.