One thing I get asked all the time about being in an open relationship is “Why?”
For me the answer is simple, my partner and I wanted to explore more sexually than we could as just a couple. So we started our open relationship as a threesome only situation. And we progressed to where we are today.
And where are we today? We are able to see others as long as the other person knows about every encounter. I trust that when he’s having sex with other men, that he tells me, and he trusts that I will tell him about every experience that I have.
And there is where 99% of men have a major issue. Trust. It’s hard to trust. Humans instinctually don’t trust; it’s a defense mechanism. A lack of trust keeps us safe, it keeps us “on guard.” When we let down our guard, we get hurt. It happens.
So, if you’re thinking about opening up your relationship, you need to ask yourself a few questions.
- Do I trust myself to always tell my partner when I sleep with another man?
- Do I trust that he will do the same?
- Do I trust myself that when I feel a certain way, when I get hurt, that I can share it with my partner?
- Can I trust myself and him to follow our rules?
The type of trust that an open relationship takes is so much more than trusting your partner, it’s also about trusting yourself. And that take some pretty serious reflection.
Not all couples in open relationships share each experience with the other partner. That’s fine if it works for you, but I’m writing about my experiences and sharing my ideas and thoughts to help others. Leave a comment and let’s talk about other possibilities.
